Filed under: Uncategorized
Filed under: Uncategorized
Ain’t she a beaut?
Filed under: food, minutia, rant | Tags: disappointing, douche nozzles, greedy, reasons why i'm a douche
There are moments in life of which you’re not proud. For me, tonight was one of those nights.
KFC and Oprah (that’s right, Oprah) were offering a free 2 piece chicken with sides coupon in order to promote KFC’s new grilled chicken. And so today, after working up an appetite at the gym, I headed over to my not so local KFC, coupon in hand, to get in on this deal.
When I got there, as expected, there was a line up to the door. And so I got in line behind a guy my age and an old lady who was in front of him.
The old lady excitedly asked the guy in front of me, “Are you here because of Oprah too?”
He knew nothing of the Oprah connection, only that there was free chicken.
She then turned to me and asked, “What about you?”
I said, “I wouldn’t be standing in such a long line if free chicken weren’t involved.”
Satisfied, she turned back to face the front of the line. Turning back occasionally to try to make small talk with the guy in front of me, while I turned my attention to the Super Puzzle Bobble game on my phone.
About 30 minutes later, it was the old lady’s turn to order.
Old Lady: “Oprah said to come down to KFC for a free meal.”
Cashier: “Do you have your coupon?”
Old Lady: “I don’t have a coupon, Oprah said just to ask for the free meal.”
Cashier: “I’m sorry ma’am, but you need the coupon from the internet.”
Old Lady: “But I don’t have a computer! And I waited in this line this whole time!”
The old lady then pulled out a different coupon for a free drumstick.
Casher: “I’m sorry, but this is a coupon for a free drumstick with purchase.”
Defeated, the old lady took her coupon and headed towards the door.
Now at this moment, what I should have done was offer the old lady my coupon. Afterall, she is old and probably has no idea what the internet is and I’m sure Oprah wasn’t very succinct with her instructions. Also, it was only about five dollars worth of chicken. It’s not like I was standing in a bread line to feed my starving family.
But I didn’t do this. In fact, it didn’t even occur to me to do this until five minutes after she had left.
Instead I just waited for her to walk away before I turned to the people behind me and mockingly shook my fist in the air and said:
“Damn you, Oprah!”
Which was good for about half a chuckle.
Now just how fucked up in the head am I that I don’t even think to help someone out until five minutes after they leave? Have I gotten so mistrustful of strangers and so self involved that I can’t even identify moments where I could easily help out an old person? Not only that, I went out of my to make a joke at her expense.
Although to be fair, there was a line of at least fifteen people, and not a single one of them surrendered their coupons either. Not that this makes me feel any better, in fact I think this says a lot about the people in Los Angeles.
Also they ended up making a mistake on my order and I ended up getting three sides instead of two. So I was actually rewarded for being a douche.
I am a horrible person.
Stupid Oprah.
So when it comes to Rock Band vs Guitar Hero World Tour, I fall squarely into the Rock Band camp. Or rather, when it comes to Harmonix vs Neversoft, I fall squarely into the Harmonix camp.
Harmonix has always done good work with GH, GH2, RB and RB2. Meanwhile, Neversoft has only had one other hit, namely their Tony Hawk series which originally, I was a big fan of, that is until they drove the franchise into the ground with eight pointless sequels. With that I’m sure they drove away any real talent they had and now they couldn’t even rip off Rock Band without fucking up. Case in point, Guitar Hero World Tour.
I picked up a copy of GHWT today because one of my old guitars was failing and I figured I might as well get the game along with a new wireless guitar. Now I already own RB and RB2, and I should have known better having hated GH3 and Neversoft’s policy of substituting more notes and pointless boss battles in lieu of fun gameplay. But the one thing that GHWT has going for it, a good selection of songs, convinced me otherwise.
Having only played GHWT on drums for an hour or so, I can safely say that I hate it. I really hate it. Here’s why:
-They cram all of the already hard to read progress meters, points, multipliers, and star power meters into the corner where it’s really hard to read with your peripherals. If I’m busy concentrating on a bunch of falling dots, the last thing I need is to hunt to see how much star power I have or how bad I’m failing, that stuff should be up front and easy to read without having to move your eyes.
-There are very few fills on drums, and the few that I’ve seen aren’t freestyle. Maybe I just haven’t played enough songs, but that shouldn’t even be an issue.
-Most of the songs I’ve played are very guitar centric. In other words, getting to play Michael Jackson’s Beat It on guitar is likely to be a lot more fun than it was on drums, seeing as you’re the equivalent of a drum machine. Harmonix may have more obscure songs, but at least they know how to pick songs that are fun to play for everyone and not just the guitarist.
-Billy motherfucking Corgan and his stupid silver skirt. Don’t get me wrong, I used to be a big Smashing Pumpkins fan back in high school, but now they’re a joke, or more specifically Billy Corgan is a joke. You don’t even unlock him after playing Today, you unlock the privilege to buy his character with your hard earned in-game gig money. Why couldn’t I just make my avatar in his likeness if I wanted to look like a bald sissy in a skirt and save my money for something else?
-Speaking of my hard earned in-game gig money, after completing three stages or so, I run into a whole set list of Tool. How fucking sweet is that? Apparently not fucking sweet at all because they won’t let me play it until I have $8,000 of in-game gig money. What the fuck is that? I understand the concept of having to purchase or unlock songs in the GH universe, but why tease me with set list so early on when I don’t even have half that amount? They made it look like any other set list too, but this one I had to pay to play when no other one I’ve encounter had that requirement. It’s like they knew that all the Tool fans would get super excited at the sight of that set list, only to deny them from playing it and then forcing them to play shit like Wings. Yeah, that right, mother fucking Wings.
Neversoft, stop being dicks.
